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Ramblings From the Ragged Crumbling Edge Of The Reality-Based Community

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Tips For Guys: How To Have A Happy Marriage 

1) Even though your wife is smokin' hot, DON'T take pictures of her naked.

B) If you just can't resist taking those pictures because your passion runs so deep, take the pictures with a Polaroid instant camera and duct-tape them to your chest if you have to carry them around with you.

III) If you just can't abide capturing nude images of your hot bride with 1970's technology and absolutely MUST have digital photos, make sure she doesn't have any problem with those photo's ending up being available for free on the Internet.

Next week: how to respond appropriately to questions about pants....
Posted by: Jack K. / 7:50 PM 0 comments

As If Tornadoes Weren't Enough 

...I first moved to Southwestern Washington state for my first full-time job with Smokey Bear's good friends in the spring of 1979. It was sometime during that summer that a report by a couple of guys from the U.S. Geological Survey (The Volcano People) speculating on the relative probability of the eruption of either Mt. Baker in the North Washington Cascades or the almost perfectly conical Mt. St. Helens visible out my office window in the South Washington Cascades. Less than a year later on May 18, 1980, the view out my window won that race, changing the arc of my life story in ways that I may never fully understand. One of the lessons I did come away with was a rather ironic suspicion about the karma that can be associated with any sort of "gee, it could happen at any time" story about major geologically significant events...

Given that history, I have to admit to a bit of a twinge in whatever gland controls my 'fight/flight' response when I read something like this. The likelihood of a magnitude 6.0 earthquake along the New Madrid fault zone over the next thirty years has been speculated to be as high as 90%, which are way better odds than those given for any sort of near-term eruption of Mt. St. Helens in 1979, and the widespread distribution of unconsolidated fluvial sediments in the potential impact area is in large part what leads to the concern expressed in the new FEMA report...

As we all know, this is The Greatest Nation On Earth. And that may be understandable, given that the piece of land on which this Greatest Nation is perched possesses the most complex variety of natural ways to do us harm of any place on earth. From volcanoes and tsunamis and killer lightning to tornadoes and hurricanes and wildfires and earthquakes, the variety of sudden, abrupt natural crises is amazing. I'm going to be spending Thanksgiving week along the Washington coast in areas where cheerful blue and white "Tsunami Evacuation Route" signs are widely distributed across the landscape, and - given this new report - I'm sure I'll sleep just as well as I would were I staying anywhere along the southern Missippippi Alluvial Plain...
Posted by: Jack K. / 6:52 PM 0 comments

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